Through Song
by cassette tape
Summary: Finn discovers his feelings for Kurt through the songs New Directions perform, and slowly comes to terms with who he really loves and wants to be with, and finally forgets what others think of him. SLIGHT SPOILERS FOR SEASON ONE!


**A/N: I'm more of a Klaine fan, but I couldn't help but do this. I feel like Finn didn't try anything on with Kurt simply because he was uncomfortable with being with a boy, and not because he was completely and totally 100% straight. I own no characters, and just the story. Also, tiny spoilers for season one.**

* * *

><p><strong>Don't Stop Believin'<strong>

Finn Hudson wasn't really sure what he was doing. Glee club was for... losers, wasn't it? So why was he here, with a bunch of, well, losers, singing a Journey song? Most of his friends on the football team would laugh at him for even liking Journey, let alone singing with these kids. But Finn was kind of sick of caring. He was tired of pleasing other people. He was allowed to be happy, and if that meant singing a song from the '50s or '60s or whatever it was, then so be it. He also enjoyed being on stage. He liked singing, and sure as hell was good at it, so why not? He might even be a really cool rock star like Morrison, and Finn totally loved the Doors.

One thing Finn didn't love, however, was the feeling inside his heart. He kept looking at Kurt in that over the top shirt with ruffles, wondering why he couldn't stop staring. His hair was staying in place even with his head shaking, and Finn hoped that one day he could do that. He also wanted to run his fingers through Kurt's hair 'cause it looked so damn soft and nice and...

What the fuck? What was he thinking? Finn didn't like boys, he was with Quinn Fabray and he loved her, didn't he? She was hot, _and _a cheerleader - what wasn't to love? But she was also kind of a prude and oh God now Rachel's coming over to him. The football player wasn't exactly sure what to make of Rachel Berry. She was weird in an awesome sort of way, and she had an amazing voice, so she couldn't be too bad. But she was usually all over him and it was a little scary, really... Finn just wanted to touch Kurt's hair, was that too much to ask?

**Push It**

When the bright lights hit Finn's face, it had finally sunk in. He was on stage. About to sing. And dance. To a song that nobody probably even liked. In front of the whole school. He was worried about what everyone was going to think, which was totally different to when they were singing Don't Stop Believin'... 'cause they weren't acting like idiots, maybe. With Rachel's hands all over him (could she maybe, you know, not do that?) his eyes wondered over to Kurt. He was pushing his body against Mercedes and he was kind... jealous. Only 'cause Rachel was really annoying him right now, of course, _only 'cause Rachel was really annoying him._ That had to be it.

But when Finn walked by him and Kurt slapped him on the backside, he looked up in shock. One, because no way did everyone in the school just see that, and two, he really, really liked the feeling of Kurt touching him. It was different to Rachel clawing at him and Quinn's awkward strokes of, ahem, affection. It was confident and almost independent, like Kurt didn't care who saw him do it. Maybe that's why he liked it so much, because Finn really wanted people to show him that they loved him without anything holding them back. Like his mum when she made him grilled cheese, that's total love right there.

And oh Jesus, could he not think about his mother right now? And could he not think about Kurt, too? Finn would rather Rachel's annoying little hands right now, because his desire for Kurt Hummel was starting to scare him.

**Somebody To Love**

Finn fucking loved Queen, which was on the reasons why he was so excited to perform that night. He was also excited because he got to see Kurt dressed up like a cowboy and he looked really awesome. Those pants he had on were super tight and shit, he was doing it again. Focus Finn, you got Rachel staring at you oh so lovingly, and she's kind of cute, right?

But whenever Finn saw that swinging of blonde hair, he remembered that very soon, there would be a familiar tuft of blonde hair. Finn wasn't sure how Quinn got knocked up. Was Ask Jeeves even that accurate? He remembered the whole hot tub incident and it did sound kind of legit. Quinn was a good girl, so she must be telling the truth. Good girls don't lie. But how was he going to cope? He wasn't rich and couldn't support them, and neither could his mum. And Quinn's dad was really scary, and even though Mr. Fabray was shorter than him, he looked like he could stick Finn in a Saw trap if he really wanted to.

He was a little worried with how well the song fit the situation: Finn was kind of lonely. He was with Quinn, and she showed him love, and he guessed Rachel did too, but it wasn't enough for some reason. Feeling greedy, Finn tried his hardest to remember he was supposed to be singing a song and not being so worried about his love life. But there was part of him that couldn't let go of what he wanted. Or more accurately, who he wanted.

Walking down the stage, Finn let his eyes wonder to the boy so much smaller than him. His hair was, once again, sitting perfectly, and blue really suited him. It looked like Kurt was about to look back at him, so Finn quickly turned away, almost tripping over Tina's feet (she looked like she was about kill him, and he shot her look that said "shit Tina, you know I love you"), and looked down at the crowd. The crowd would take his mind of things, at least for the next couple minutes.

Finn just wanted guidance. He wasn't ready to be a dad to a kid he didn't even plan, and didn't even make really - he should have at least gotten sex out of it - and he certainly wasn't ready to fall in love with Kurt either.

**It's My Life / Confessions Part II**

Finn's mind was going a million and one miles per second. His head was spinning and everything was kind a blur. He barley knew what he was singing or doing but he didn't care. He was on a roll and felt amazing. He wasn't much of a dancer (Kurt was though, Finn noted, Kurt was a _really_ good dancer) so he just sort of kicked and punched the air instead like he was Rocky.

As the song carried on, Finn made sure Kurt was by him. It messed up the chorography a little but hey, Finn was Rocky, wasn't he? Kurt gave him an odd look for a moment before continuing on with the song, and he almost swooned when he got closer. Kurt smelled super good, which Finn already figured 'cause Kurt always took good care of himself.

For some reason, everything was easier. Finn didn't care that he liked Kurt; Finn didn't care if anyone made fun of him, because he was happy. He wasn't sure if it was the pills that made him realise that, or if it was because it was something he actually felt deep down inside. Either way, the feeling was amazing. Finn liked that he liked Kurt. It was good; everything was finally going to be good.

**Keep Holding On**

Nope, he was wrong. Nothing was going good. One of the reasons why Finn was so pissed was because he hated Avril Lavigne. She went from singing rock to pop and he didn't really get it. But the song had a lot behind it - for him at least - and as he watched Kurt in that white jacket, the events from the day had come crashing down on him, quicker than he wished.

He remembered how _Mr_. _Schue_ and Coach Sylvester kept yelling at each other: it was really annoying and gave Finn a headache. So Finn went to the nurse's office (for something that would actually make him better and certainly not Vitamin D) and when he turned the corner in the hall, his eyes widened. Those two guys from the hockey team were shoving Kurt around, and the only words he made out were "homo" and fag" and that _really_ pissed Finn off.

Instead of helping Kurt like he should, he ran to the bathrooms, locking himself in one of the cubicles. Finn never cried, but everything crushed him at that point, and the realisation that he would be a dad and that he was maybe gay was all too much. He didn't know what was scarier, holding his new born baby or holding hands with a boy.

The memory of punching the door in front him brought him back. Keep holding on, keep holding on, keep holding on, he told himself. It was easier said than done and Finn really just wanted to cry again, and it seemed like everyone was doing it at that moment. He was really desperate to break down and sob when he grabbed Quinn's hand, and then Rachel's, and it did nothing to him. He knew only Kurt's hand would have made him safe, even if it was for a couple seconds.

**I'll Stand By You**

When Finn picked Kurt to be his partner he tried not to punch everyone who was laughing. How come it was so funny for boys to sing together? He got even more annoyed when Santana picked Brittany and there was silence. Great. Whatever, he thought, at least he'd get to spend more time with Kurt, and that was a plus. They got talking about a lot of things, like how Kurt buys some of his clothes online (Kurt gave a 'friendly hint' that maybe Finn should ditch Target and do the same) and how Finn was really awesome at Halo.

Kurt suggested 'I'll Stand By You' which Finn was excited to sing. And when he belted out the lyrics, he felt bad when he didn't imagine his little girl watching him, and instead imagined Kurt. Finn thought that if he could ever get over the feeling of fear of loving a boy, then he would always, always stand by Kurt. No matter what. He would kick anyone's ass if they touched him and would make him breakfast in bed and buy him flowers and be the best boyfriend ever.

Yes, Finn would stand by him. Even if they weren't boyfriends, he still would.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hope you guys liked it! Part two should be up soon!**


End file.
